Speechless

Sometime, I really dunno what u r thinking
Sometime, I will concern that u will feel reluctant if I over control


But.....


Sometime, what u have said and done
It's made me felt disappointed
Sometime, I make it silent and do not correct u in the public
Is because I concern of your self-esteem and your status


Today.....


Something is make me sad and speechless
I'm not sure whether the rumour is correct or not 
but I'm sure that everyone is laughing at us
I dunno how to react and just keep thinking and wonder
"why you will said like that on that moment?"


Have you ever think about what're the impacts after what you have said?
May be you  are still young and dun have much experience.....
We are here and will lend a hand to help u
but we will not alway be with u
One day you have to handle all the things by your own


Sometime u should not have to let 'others' know what's going on and how is our progress
because internal progress is such a secret and cannot make known to public
But u have made this mistake again, such a big mistake


I think u should think about what're the impacts before u trying to do and say......
U should learn how to use a correct and better ways to let 'others' know your activity's progress if they are asking
Never let 'others' know your activity's weaknesses and what are the problems you are facing
May be in your perception, you will think that telling all these things and 'they' will lend a hand to help you
but normally is not.....
Because the result that I get is, they will laughing and try to look down on you


So what had happened and just let it go
Hopefully you wont repeat the same mistake again............

无题

大家都已经会周公去了吧~
唯独我一个人，眼睁睁的睡不着
今晚又重复同样的东西 - 失眠


宁静的夜晚却让人想得特别多
悠然发现，可以让我诉苦和分担忧愁的朋友几乎是没有
只有这里是我唯一一个让我发泄和诉苦的地方。。。
把不开心和烦恼的事情往这里塞~


玩乐的朋友可说是一大班，可是当你有烦恼沉默的时候
是没有人会开口关心问你一声：“你怎么了？ 你还好吗？”
他（她）们反而会说你在闹情绪，没有人会愿意当你诉苦的对象。


当你试着向一个可以依赖的朋友诉说时，

他（她）是没有站在你的立场去想，反而对你说：“你这样做是不对的！”

最终只有沉默自己承受
所以有时干脆选择沉默不出声不回应。

在我生命里，唯有一个可以当我忠实的聆听者 - 妈妈

唯有她会静静地聆听和给与适当的安慰与建议。

曾经被人垂弃过，也在死亡边缘徘徊过，但庆幸的活了过来

或许已看透这一切，有没有可以信任与分担忧愁的朋友已没关系

自己一个人去面对也许会让自己更加的坚强吧！

或许把保护自己的围墙建的太高了，没人敢越过它

或许已习惯自己一个人去处理，对有没有可以分担的朋友已经没知觉

或许我的生活圈子里只有我一个人。。。

也曾经想过，如果当时真的被垂弃了，一切将会是怎样。。。。

做回自己, 真实的自己

累了.... 不想再继续掩饰, 不想再继续卖弄笑脸


开心时, 想笑就大声地笑吧! 不必理会别人怎么看待你
随着自己的心情去吧~


心情不好时...... 不想说话就别说, 就让自己沉默一天
不必勉强自己强颜欢笑, 像小丑似的惹人欢笑


这样做, 别人不会对你好一些, 只是让自己觉得更加的疲累......


现在回想, 卖弄笑脸, 勉强自己强颜欢笑..... 做这些到底是为了什么?
什么都不是, 只是自己一厢情愿........


我要找回原来的我, 做回真实的我
不必要再为了逗别人开心, 逼自己去衬托别人而失去了原来的自己




我要..........
做回自己, 真实的自己

Miracle

Raining night...... such a good weather for me to sleep
but tonight I'm insomnia again~ 
Stress and Worry are come to me again, why I should have such feeling? 
Now I'm thinking will that person has facing same feeling like me? Yes or No....


Why I should worry about all these messy stuffs?
Because of responsibility?
Because of faces or other else?
A lot of things hvnt settle yet, all come together, where and which I should settle first?


Why I should take this responsibility to settle all these things? 
Izit part of my job? May be the answer is YES
Now what I only can do is make a wish~
"Hope there will be a Miracle and I able to create it"

Check NYAMUK

Back to Kampar again, finished my three weeks holiday. Start my new semester again......
Need to work harder for this semester, hopefully can increase my pointer (CGPA).

During my holiday, actually is nothing special, juz like normal but one day morning......
Got a team of people knocked my house gate and said they are come from Kerajaan Jabatan Kesihatan XXX
I asked them what can I help you
A 'middle-aged + mediterranean hair loss' man said they want to check NYAMUK.....

I very curious, why want to check mosquito? now is morning, how to check? Izit want to check aedes mosquitoes, then i straight away open the door to let them in.
When I open the gate, I heard the trainees asked why not juz tell him we come to check nyamuk aedes? Middle-aged man said if we said nyamuk aedes, he sure dunno, is better said check nyamuk.

After I heard that, I damn angry and scold in the heart.... WTF!!! What do you think on me? U think I'm the small kid izit? Dunno what is 'nyamuk aedes'?
Ish!!! Damn useless 'middle-aged + mediterranean hair loss' man!!! U think oni u have access to higher education, other people are fool.... Look down on people, useless fellow, no manners!!!

After he leave, I curse in the heart "better u loss all your hair, become bald!!!"